Can Kids Have Seconds on Snacks?

If you read this post on how to know whether or not to offer a snack or if you have worked through a feeding routine for your family, then you likely know the benefits that routine and structure offer you, your child, and your family at large when it comes to snacking specifically.

No longer are you managing the endless requests for, “Can I have a snack?!” from your child because you have learned both how to answer if they even need a snack and how to establish boundaries that reinforce if/when it is indeed time for a snack.

With this, you and your child both begin experiencing more freedom from your day without being bound to constant questions about food.

However, even with an established feeding schedule, you might find that there are a few times in the day you (or your child!) still struggle. We covered the Top 5 Most Confusing Snack Times in this post. That means even when the what (i.e. food), when (i.e. timing/routine), and where (i.e. location/no grazing) of snacking are otherwise decided, questions still come up on how much to offer (or restrict!) these snacks and ask:

Are Seconds on Snacks Allowed?

This post will address common concerns parents have around snacks hurting more than they help.

 
can my child have seconds on snacks.png
 

Let’s lead this conversation with a quote I love from feeding expert and registered dietitian, Ellyn Satter:

Everything changes when you guide eating based on eating competence and guide feeding based on the division of responsibility.
— Ellyn Satter

I address this up front, because as mentioned in this post, our role in the feeding relationship is not to manipulate our child’s appetite. We want to equip our children to be in charge of if/whether and how much of a given food they choose to eat (or at least that’s the goal we are working towards!).

However, sometimes in order to establish appropriate trust and control in our feeding relationship, we as parents need to hone in on our own underlying anxieties around food and how those are impacting the way we present certain foods (for better or worse)  - including snacks.

To do this, let’s review four common questions that come in from parents, who likely face similar snack-related challenges to you and your family. When we evaluate these questions in the context of identifying any underlying concerns and addressing what we can do about these, we establish our own self-efficacy to actually answer these feeding related questions as they come up. This allows us to tap into having the clarity and confidence to dissect our best decision amidst all the potential snack time scenarios that inevitably will come up (something all Academy families get to work through becoming more confident in!).

 

FAQ 1: “Do I limit snacks so it doesn't ruin dinner?”

IDENTIFY: What is the underlying concern? That an afternoon snack will disrupt dinner

ASK: Is there evidence of this happening? If so, when and with what kinds of snacks? Does it happen more in a certain scenario (i.e. where it is offered, like in front of the tv or amidst doing homework) than in others? What about the snack seems to currently be disrupting dinner?

ADDRESS: What can I do here as the parent to improve my child’s snack time?

  • WHAT: If you need to keep your snack time the same, you can lighten up the snack to a more simple (versus satiating) snack option to hold them over. Remember, fat +/- fiber +/- protein will fill for longer; if you want a lighter snack, opt for a snack with less of these.

  • WHEN: Maybe you need to move that afternoon snack forward or dinner back a bit so the timing of the two aren’t so close together. If your child wakes up too late or gets home too late for a snack but also before dinner is ready, consider an appetizer hour to hold them off until the family meal is ready. Maybe you opt for your child to have an early dinner instead of snack because their appetite improves what they eat. If your whole family can’t enjoy dinner together at this time, maybe your child instead has a bedtime snack when others eat dinner.

  • WHERE: Maybe your child has afternoon screen time or snacks out while playing, and in doing so, mindlessly eats more snacks in that scenario. Could you create a more intentional space for snacks and then transition to screen time or play time?

  • IF/WHETHER or HOW MUCH your child eats? Not up to you.

ADVICE: What’s the bottom line? Your most effective role as the parent isn’t to manage how much they eat, but rather to manage what, when, and where you are offering a snack (and the spacing until the next meal). So if the concern is an afternoon snack disrupting dinner, we must ask ourselves, how do we make the snack not disrupt dinner? This can take some trial and error on your part working with your child, so try to stick to what YOU can control - being what, when, and where that food is being offered, not how much they eat of it.

 

FAQ 2: “How many snacks do I give them?”

IDENTIFY: What is the underlying concern? Assuming the snacks given are already being consolidated to snack time (rather than excessive snacks/grazing throughout the day), this question is usually targeting how many snacks you offer at a given time. With this, a parent might be concerned they are giving too many or not enough snacks in either the variety or the quantity of snacks being served.

ASK: Is there evidence of this happening? If you are giving too few snack options, you might see that your child is eating a larger portion of it in order to feel full. A common example would be a default snack of straight crackers, rather than one intended to more deliberately fill them (with adequate fat +/- fiber +/- protein). A child might fill up on “too many” crackers if no other items with protein, fat, or fiber are also offered. If you are giving too many snack options, you might see that there is an excessive amount left uneaten (which can then be perceived as food waste).

ADDRESS: What can I do here as the parent to improve my child’s snack time?

  • Consider if you should offer only one option. If it is a time of day where your child needs just something simple and light to hold them over for snack (see examples of tricky snack times here), a single snack option might be sufficient. This would be the example of one yogurt tube or cup being satisfying to your child for snack versus them being given a single yogurt and yet needing/wanting/asking for another afterwards (as in the next example).

  • To promote nutritional variety and prevent food jags, offer 2-3 options. As mentioned, snacks can be a single item, like a yogurt tube or cup. But if it is a time of day that you know your child is usually particularly hungry, you are better off offering 2-3 items to help satisfy their hunger and diversify their diet (example shown below with part of a muffin and/or blueberries). This is a perfect way to transition snacks from “love it only foods” to a more Love it, Like it, Learning it ® approach.

  • If you feel like there is a lot of food waste, scale back the amount you are offering - particularly if it is a known learning it food. With the above example, this might mean offering a few spoonfuls of yogurt into a separate bowl. Offer alongside some blueberries and/or a small piece of muffin. If they eat any bit of this, you may allow more (see FAQ 3).

A general rule of thumb (such as those that I share in depth about on my Combination Cards), in general you can always use this as a safe starting point and then adjust up or down based on your unique child and their unique appetite:

Offer 1 Tablespoon per year of age.

ADVICE: What’s the bottom line? Some kids have big appetites, period. Who are we to tell them they don’t need to eat as much as they feel inclined to eat? Often times, kids need to find their “comfortably full” point on their own trial and error, not our unsolicited parental input or intervention. Try to focus on your role of what, when, and where food is offered and simply observe them do their role in deciding if/whether and how much to eat. As you watch their eating patterns emerge (without your pushing more or cutting them off), you can adjust how much food you offer accordingly.

 
how much snack should I offer.png
 
 

FAQ 3: “Are seconds of snacks okay?”

IDENTIFY: What is the underlying concern? That seconds aren’t okay…either physically because of excessive fullness or emotionally because of perceived over-eating.

ASK: Is there evidence of this happening? If your child is commonly wanting more, you likely need to shift your portion sizes up to account for this or assume and accept seconds may be requested. If the portion they seem to need to satisfy them at a given snack seems too great for how soon the next meal is, you might need to review some of the action steps outlined for FAQ 1.

ADDRESS: What can I do here as the parent to improve my child’s snack time?

  • Start with small portions (from FAQ 2) and adjust as needed by allowing seconds. If it seems like they need more, allow it. They might have larger appetites or just a particularly large appetite that day. Either is okay.

  • Adapt as needed. If you chronically are serving less than your child eats, recognize that they might need more satiating (versus simple) snacks or that their appetite is simply larger than you had assumed for them and their age. This is not bad nor wrong; it shows they intrinsically know what their bodies need to eat at a given eating opportunity. The more they are empowered to trust these internal cues, the better.

ADVICE: What’s the bottom line? Based on this general starting place, a two year old might be offered 2 Tablespoons of yogurt and 2 Tablespoons of frozen blueberries for a snack to start. Many kids will eat more or less than this, but this gives parents a starting point (that limits waste) and children a starting point (that prevents overwhelm). But don’t fret if your child wants more than this. This does not mean they are over-eating, in general or compared to other’s their age. This is part of the process for children to learn proper self-regulation.

 

FAQ 4: “When do I cut them off from snacks?”

IDENTIFY: What is the underlying concern? That they will overeat the given food or disrupt their next meal

ASK: Is there evidence of this happening? It might be, if your child is filling up on that particular snack food (i.e. an issue with what snacks are being offered or a sense of a particular food being forbidden), or if they’re mindlessly eating in front of the tv or while playing (i.e. an issue with where snacks are happening), or because the snack time is so drawn out that it begins to interfere with the next meal (i.e. highlighting a need to change when or how long snack time takes place).

ADDRESS: What can I do here as the parent to improve my child’s snack time?

Your child doesn’t need you to cut them off. They need to know the balance of:

Abundance + Permission = Discernment
— The Comfort Food podcast
  • Evaluate if the boundaries around a seated, structured snack have become too lenient. Ideally, we want to consolidate snack time so that it doesn’t drag on and later disrupt their next meal. If your child is getting up from the table and taking >15 minutes to eat a snack, the issue with their snack needing to be cut off is likely more related to when and where it is being eaten, than what they are being offered.

  • Consider if this is a particular food they might feel restricted towards. For more on this, read this article on, “What to do when your child only eats their ‘love it"‘ foods.”

  • Initially, it can feel very counter intuitive and make parents uncomfortable to watch their child “overeat",” particularly if it disrupts a given meal. But as a Division of Responsibility is established, parents quickly see their children tap into their ability to self-regulate and children see that their parents are empowering them to decide how much to eat (without restricting them).

  • Work to support your child’s innate appetite regulation. If it is causing snacks to interfere with their meals, consider going back through the above FAQs to adjust when the snack or next meal is offered, how filling of snack foods are being offered, and ensure that mindless eating isn’t perpetuating this versus a true appetite for the given item.

  • Know that while kids might initially eat more when given the chance to “have their fill,” they learn to listen to their bodies when it isn’t a parent’s voice dictating that decision.

ADVICE: What’s the bottom line? As parents, we each come with our own unique relationships with food. And sometimes, with these, we begin identifying our own insecurities with over-eating and inflicting these on our kids without evidence that their appetites are even creating an actual issue. Instead, show you trust your child to know how much their bodies need. We know that restricting a child’s food intake usually backfires, so instead, go through asking yourself other questions for how you can help the snack be both satisfying to them and successful for their overall daily diet and routine. Usually, there are plenty of ways a parent can help support their child through nourishing snacks while sticking to what, when, and where snacks are offered; NOT how much they eat.

 

You can see that there is rarely a one size fits all approach to snacking.

Through all the ins and outs of these similar questions, you can see why adjusting for your child’s appetite and family’s routine is something I go into great detail on in The Academy program. Because no two family units nor feeding schedules are alike, every parent, family, and household needs to know how to make more positive, productive changes towards improving their feeding environment - which very much includes snacks.

We all have varying routines and rhythms, just as our kid’s appetites differ (including from child to child). That’s why it is important to be honest about what your real concern is, identify what your question is from that, and then deduce your answer so you can take action to ensure that the snack is serving your child and family to the best of its ability.

 

Want an easy snack that is compact and nourishing on it’s own AND/OR a great compliment to other snack options?

Don’t miss my third annual Muffin Club, where I share with you some of my top seasonal muffin recipes, plus all the tips to bake, freeze, and have these healthy snacks on hand for later!


For more on establishing structure and routine or seeing on if/where these snacks might fit in your family’s daily rhythms and routines, please see the following posts:

Ashley Smith